So Thomthulhu and I have been discussing marrying this coming winter for the better part of the last five or six months. Shortly after moving to Philadelphia, we planned our elopement in seven minutes in the freezing cold, waiting for the 42 bus.
A proposal was something of an afterthought, especially given how T and I feel about betrothal in general. Once you decide you’d both like to get married, that’s it. You’re affianced. I did want to do something to give us a reason to celebrate our choice, so I bought myself a ring I like, and asked him to be the extraordinary human who would replace the Self-Marriage (a story for another day, perhaps?) bands I’ve worn consistently on my right hand for the better part of three or four years. He was pleasantly surprised, and this happened:
We called a few friends and family members first, then announced it on social media, to the resounding support, pleasure, and happiness of the folks who love us. My ring was hand made in Scotland by Sarah Brown and is significant to Thomthulhu and I for a wide variety of reasons. So. He is my extraordinary human. There are also other relationships in my life that are central, important, and irreplaceable that are likely to continue to grow, but Thomthulhu brings out my best self, and I cannot help but to orbit him. Nor do I want anything different. He also encourages me to seek out the human contact I desire with whomever I choose, and values my ability to establish deep and lasting relationships with people, without reservation. I have learned more recently to listen more closely and more heavily weight his instincts about people in my life. He is rarely incorrect, I’ve found.
As friends of ours slog through the difficult initial stages of a likely closed triad, he and I have had occasion to revisit aspects and events in our own relationship as we try to generate helpful insight for our loved ones. It’s been daunting, but ultimately good for everyone involved. One of those friends will be joining our household a week from now, and we are thrilled to make our home her home as well. Good thing she likes cats and doesn’t object to nudity. Though Thom did say, “I love her so much I’d wear pants in the house.” A glowing bit of praise, that. Those three beautiful friends plus Our Dearest Sam will be the entirety of the guest list for our impending Philadelphian faux-lopement this Winter. Our photographs will be taken with Instagram and Instax Minis by ourselves and our four guests. The rest of those plans are a complete secret, and won’t be public knowledge until after the thing is done and I do a re-cap.
New Job is completely excellent. One-tenth the stress for a third more take-home pay is… that’s some good math. I’m also using my brain on hard problems every day. I make my own schedule, and I’m preparing to negotiate down to three days in the office during the Autumn, and down to two days on site starting this Winter. The commute is honestly the worst part of the job, and that’s saying a lot considering how some folks feel about what they do five days a week for money and to whom they report for the same. I keep screwing up our finances, because I need a digital babysitter, so I’m taking a page from Ginny’s book and signing up for Mvelopes.
I’m due to watch their budgeting boot camp videos this week to feel more adulty, and to feel better about my upcoming tattoo as a responsible but fun choice. It’s a full sleeve and then some (likely extending from my left breast or shoulder blade to eventually the back of my left hand probably omitting my underarm because no part of me is into that), so it’s going to be at least 4 or 5 sessions with Jasmine at Spirited Tattooing Coalition. I also have like, a wee wedding to take care of by mid-December? What.