Over the next few weeks, I’ll be migrating my web presence to my new domain. I haven’t yet decided if this blog will remain here, if I will migrate and password protect my content, or if I will migrate the relevant content to a tumblr where narratives of problematic relationship dynamics reside, as a reference.
For those of you asking, I won’t be responding to That Thing. It’s seventy-four pages of pretty transparent tripe, and I just don’t think it requires response from me. It demonstrates more of my points than I ever could have hoped to explain; so frankly, my interlocutors have done more to show the unrelenting toxicity and disregard for agency inherent in their choices than I ever could have done. Moreover, a great deal of what is printed in it appears without the consent or request of any of the parties involved, and I think linking to it, discussing it, or bringing more attention to it stands to magnify the damage, hurt, and violation That Household insists on perpetrating. The people who know and love me know what I went through because they saw it happening, and see the person I’ve returned to being since I made the decision to leave.
The advocates and organizations with whom I’ve corresponded have removed a highly problematic person from a position of authority and authoritative speech about consent and autonomy. That needed to happen, and I am satisfied with that outcome. The other outcomes I desired were personal, and largely orbit around my willingness and ability to accept myself, and allow others to do so with gratitude and joy. My friendships and relationships are happy ones, chased by this stupid black cloud that will, eventually, dissipate. I’ve fulfilled my obligations to vulnerable members of my community and I am happy with that choice. I have used my voice, good outcomes obtained, and I will be handing off my part in this process to key leaders and trusted friends.
I would like to be free from the jingoism, pugnacity, dogmatism, and entitlement engendered and enacted by That Household, and choose at this point to excuse myself from all but essential dialogue about it and them.
I have a few (paid!) web design projects to work on, in addition to an (unpaid, but hopefully long-road lucrative) [redacted] project, so you might see me post about those things here, but gradually things are going to be archived, cataloged, and handed off to the appropriate parties for safekeeping and entrusted use, should the need arise.