I think goal-setting and accountability are important.  I also think setting meaningful deadlines for myself is a) hard; and b) necessary.  I have perfectionist tendencies that sometimes facilitates procrastination.  I tend to put things off until the circumstances are perfectly as I envision them.  I’ll wait to do a big task until I have a giant chunk of time where I feel energized, well-rested, enthusiastic, and so on, instead of just buckling the f*ck down and completing what I can in smaller chunks, even if the circumstances are imperfect.

In an effort to expedite the changes I’ve alluded to in previous posts, I want to head myself off at the pass, by publicly stating a goal, keeping myself accountable to it, and celebrating when I complete it.

My plan is to complete two sections of the [redacted] training program, quizzes included, every day from now until 10 November, and pass the final exam by 11:11 on 11/11.  Some of the units are long and dense, and will require a lot of my brain power.  I’m going to pick up a bottle of champagne tonight to keep in the fridge.  When I complete my goal and I’m cleared to pick up my first part-time assignment, that bottle gets opened.

I admit there is a distant part of me that is giving my optimism the side-eye.  Somewhere, a tiny voice is whispering that I will fail, that this opportunity is too good to be true, that I’m too late to the game, that somehow,  that I’ll do all this training but not get assignments, I’ll end up stuck or otherwise screwed.  I’m doing my best to drown out that voice, because I know it doesn’t serve me, anyone I love, or any of the people who are helping me make this change.

Right now, I have two full uninterrupted hours between 06:15 and 08:30 Monday through Friday.  I also technically get a lunch hour (I just very rarely interrupt my day to take advantage of it).  On Mondays and Wednesdays, I have my evenings entirely to myself after work, since Tomthulhu has standing games those evenings.  That gives me an additional four hours each of those evenings before it is basically bedtime for me.  I could also squeeze in an hour on Tuesday evenings before bed.  I typically have Fridays free as well.  Saturday and Sunday, training time will be 2 hours in the morning after I get up and have some coffee.  That gives me close to forty hours between this moment and the evening of the tenth, and I’ve already completed one unit.  The training itself is allegedly forty hours, so I’m ahead by a little bit.

I wish real life had progress bars.  I’m planning to make myself a sticker chart, instead.

Picking up a ten hour weekly assignment shortly after the 11th would mean six or seven weeks of non-trivial additional income on top of my holiday bonus which usually arrives mid-December.  Plus, I’d have a bit more sanity sooner and a little less of that voice yammering in my ear.


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